Becoming the one everyone wants in the room

Skills, expertise and talent aren’t the only things you need to be the one everyone wants at the table.

Becoming the type of person everyone wants to work with is something to think about. Whether you’re a business owner, leader, part of a sales team or working behind the scenes, your ability to work well with others is invaluable. And developing the reputation as one others are excited to collaborate with can be a real differentiator when you’re trying to land a new client or a promotion.

So just how do you become this sought after person? It isn’t as straightforward as learning software or leveling up some hard skill. Let me encourage you by saying it is a trait you can learn by watching others who are widely respected and admired. Learning from these folks can help you develop yourself into the person you want to be in the workplace and the one everyone is looking for!

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

Emulate the people you want to work with. If you want to be the kind of person everyone wants to work with, look for what you want to aim for… or rather, who you want to aim to be like. Think about professionals, experts, leaders, etc that you’ve worked with in the past who left a positive impression. What did you admire most? What stood out to you? How did they communicate? How did they carry themselves? Maybe it was their attitude, work ethic, charisma or communication skills that really stood out.

How can you take what you noticed from this person and layer it with who you are? How can you take note of your communication skills, attitudes, work ethic, etc. What can you do to improve? This is not being fake or trying to be something you’re not. It’s all about taking notice of yourself and becoming intentional about shining a light on what you want to highlight most.

Speak less. Listen more.

You know the ol’ adage… we’ve got two ears and one mouth for a reason. It’s time to realize that he (or she) who talks loudest is not the one who gains the greatest support, garners the greatest following, or receives the greatest applause.

In fact, in a world where people are struggling to matter and be seen, you’re choice to listen more can deliver support and impact in a whole new way. Listening is a dying art. When most corporate environments are about clamoring over each other in conversations, you might stand out more and command greater respect by choosing to not speak over the noise. It’s a balance. While you do want to be heard and should speak up when needed, don’t’ forget to actively listen and soak up what’s being shared and what’s not being shared. You can be an active listener by taking notes and staying engaged with great follow up questions. You’d be surprised how memorable you will be.

Check your surroundings.

Have you ever been with a group when someone wasn’t great at reading the room? Maybe they shared a poorly timed comment or offered an odd turn of phrase. When you’re a good listener, you’ll also be more apt to read the room and know how to best conduct yourself in that environment.

Often times, when you’re able to read the room, you’ll be able to build on the ideas that are being shared rather than stepping on the comments of others. That can win you some points in the “like” column with your team or group. When you read the room, you can work around the different dynamics around the table and appear to be more collaborative.

Learning to read a room comes with time and intention. Pay attention to what others are doing, how their responding and what feedback or response their getting. Who’s receiving the response you want to receive? Who’s gaining the attention of the client or boss? Who’s winning over the room?  Take notes. Observe. Adjust your actions accordingly.

It’s better to receive.

When it comes to feedback, most of us are sensitive to deliver that feedback in a positive, constructive way. But how are you at receiving it? No one wants to work with someone who can’t take feedback or criticism. If you’re overly sensitive to the comments of your coworkers or colleagues, they’ll pull away and be more apt to find someone more agreeable to work with.

When you accept feedback with an open mind, it demonstrates your professionalism, maturity and your collaborative nature. To those giving the feedback, you’ll appear to be open to growth and learning. If receiving feedback is hard for you, take notes during reviews and meetings. This allows you to focus on what you’re writing rather than what you’re feeling. You’ll be directing your mind to your potential rather than feeling failure. You can then use those notes to set goals and actions steps to improve where suggested.

Be a giver.

Zig Ziglar said it best, “you can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.” And it’s true. When you give to others and support them, it creates an impact that is returned to you. Giving doesn’t have to be monetary. It is best when you show support by engaging in others’ milestones, celebrations, achievements and even when they need encouragement on a bad day.

Giving to others is about looking to someone else, not just looking out for yourself. Whether it’s big or small, your actions will make another person’s day and you’ll be known for being the type of person that champions and lifts others up. And who doesn’t want someone like that on their team? Everyone can use a cheerleader!